I've never been what I would say is a charismatic. I don't feel comfortable raising my hands during praise and worship. Being raised in an Episcopal church didn't lend to that style. The longer I lived in Africa however, the freer I felt about different ways of adoring our Creator. I've also never been one to pray my own prayer aloud or sing my own song aloud while tons of others around do so. Not that I am not worshiping, just doing so silently, my ADD brain too distracted by what's going on around me. I would say that this past year having daily devotions and prayer at the Assemblies of God school where I taught certainly helped me see the benefits of praying in such a manner.
Last night was the 2nd Worship Night I've been to this summer. It all started back in December 2008 when a colleague at school started to raise up a generation of worshippers. He started what is known as STUDiO_10. It's a group of young musicians who are striving to serve God through leading worship. Check them out here. Since then I've had the privilege of serving alongside them in different capacities. In past years I've helped lead worship at their Worship Nights or taken pictures. This time around it's the later.
After wandering the room snapping photos for the first hour or so I decided to settle in my seat. The song slowly faded to a new one: "Nothing I Hold On To". I'd heard it the week before and it's incredibly simple. The song went through and at the end the leader for the song encouraged everyone to sing their own song to God. As I sat there I had molded my way into the song. Moving with it's beat. Feeling it's words. And turning them over to God. At times, with certain songs, I am tempted to change the lyrics. For example, with the song "How He loves", I will often change it to "How You love us" as I sing to the One who is jealous for me. With the song "Nothing I Hold On To" there are lines that are repeated: "I give it all to you God trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me; I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open." We as humans are flawed. How many times have I said that I was going to give it all to God? Then how much of that time do I wind up taking it back into my own control? I don't dare to think upon it. But I know it's a lot. So in singing this song, I felt the need to add a few words. When we were invited to sing our own song to God, adding those words was exactly what I was doing. I didn't realize it at the time, but I got more comfortable with adding words and found myself feeling at home. I was singing my own song to God, albeit ever so quietly, but I was one of those people singing my own thing aloud to the Lord. At the conclusion of the song this immense sense of feeling at home dawned upon me. I realized that with the Holy Spirit I can feel at home anywhere. I thought back to how I felt as we were driving in the village towards the church. The fact that I had my camera out and wanted to snap photos already can attest to the fact that I did not feel at home then. But upon allowing myself to be totally honest with God and flow into His presence, I was home.
I should say that "home" is not something that has been defined very well over the past 9 years. It's been relative. Home in college was either the dorm room, the house which my parents lived in, or a room at camp. Home for the next year was either the apartment or again the house in which my parents dwelled. While in Uganda I lived in 3 different places, in 2 different neighborhoods. This past year I've been so blessed to live with my parents again. Now I'm back in Uganda for the summer and home is in Muyenga. Add my obsession with travel to the aforementioned mix and we have cOnFuSiOn. It was impressed upon me in the middle of my time in Uganda that God is my only Rock. The Psalms talk about it a lot. People changed all around me in the international community. God IS my Rock. But I had never thought of Him as home before. I've made reference to the fact that my allegiance is with a King and my true home is in Heaven. But what about the time I have left here on earth?
Later that night I was sitting still and quiet while others were screaming out for God. It dawned upon me that no matter what is going on around me I can feel at home as well. There is always the potential to feel at home in the Holy Spirit. In Him is love, joy, peace ... and home.
Last night was the 2nd Worship Night I've been to this summer. It all started back in December 2008 when a colleague at school started to raise up a generation of worshippers. He started what is known as STUDiO_10. It's a group of young musicians who are striving to serve God through leading worship. Check them out here. Since then I've had the privilege of serving alongside them in different capacities. In past years I've helped lead worship at their Worship Nights or taken pictures. This time around it's the later.
After wandering the room snapping photos for the first hour or so I decided to settle in my seat. The song slowly faded to a new one: "Nothing I Hold On To". I'd heard it the week before and it's incredibly simple. The song went through and at the end the leader for the song encouraged everyone to sing their own song to God. As I sat there I had molded my way into the song. Moving with it's beat. Feeling it's words. And turning them over to God. At times, with certain songs, I am tempted to change the lyrics. For example, with the song "How He loves", I will often change it to "How You love us" as I sing to the One who is jealous for me. With the song "Nothing I Hold On To" there are lines that are repeated: "I give it all to you God trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me; I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open." We as humans are flawed. How many times have I said that I was going to give it all to God? Then how much of that time do I wind up taking it back into my own control? I don't dare to think upon it. But I know it's a lot. So in singing this song, I felt the need to add a few words. When we were invited to sing our own song to God, adding those words was exactly what I was doing. I didn't realize it at the time, but I got more comfortable with adding words and found myself feeling at home. I was singing my own song to God, albeit ever so quietly, but I was one of those people singing my own thing aloud to the Lord. At the conclusion of the song this immense sense of feeling at home dawned upon me. I realized that with the Holy Spirit I can feel at home anywhere. I thought back to how I felt as we were driving in the village towards the church. The fact that I had my camera out and wanted to snap photos already can attest to the fact that I did not feel at home then. But upon allowing myself to be totally honest with God and flow into His presence, I was home.
I should say that "home" is not something that has been defined very well over the past 9 years. It's been relative. Home in college was either the dorm room, the house which my parents lived in, or a room at camp. Home for the next year was either the apartment or again the house in which my parents dwelled. While in Uganda I lived in 3 different places, in 2 different neighborhoods. This past year I've been so blessed to live with my parents again. Now I'm back in Uganda for the summer and home is in Muyenga. Add my obsession with travel to the aforementioned mix and we have cOnFuSiOn. It was impressed upon me in the middle of my time in Uganda that God is my only Rock. The Psalms talk about it a lot. People changed all around me in the international community. God IS my Rock. But I had never thought of Him as home before. I've made reference to the fact that my allegiance is with a King and my true home is in Heaven. But what about the time I have left here on earth?
Later that night I was sitting still and quiet while others were screaming out for God. It dawned upon me that no matter what is going on around me I can feel at home as well. There is always the potential to feel at home in the Holy Spirit. In Him is love, joy, peace ... and home.
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